I have had the pleasure of being featured on The Cuckold Consultant for an exclusive interview. Read it on TheCuckoldConsultant.com
Q: What would you say are some of the most valuable things you could provide a man who submitted to you with that he isn’t getting right now in life or his current relationship?
A: Many men fantasize about letting an alluring, assertive woman take charge. Relinquishing control can be extremely freeing, provided it is to a woman whom you trust. Submission is an outlet. I strive to be that dangerous femme fatale in which you are still willing to put your trust. As a financial dominatrix, I demand a lot, but I give a lot back to whoever is willing to build something outside of the context of our sessions. To my best clients, I’m their mentor. I make them better men. I don’t only teach them how to financially sacrifice for a woman, I help them understand the female mind better. I often give them dating or relationship advice. And of course, being so demanding to my clients financially speaking often make them harder workers… I don’t just manage their finances, I help them set goals for themselves and teach them to plan ahead. Let’s say it’s my way of rewarding them for their (financial) devotion to me. Like in all relationships, it’s an exchange.
Q: What makes you different from all the other female dommes out there?
A: Unlike latex-clad dominatrices who session in their dungeon, using whips and crops, I dominate with my words, my attitude, my body language, in five stars hotels, Michelin restaurants or high end designer stores, wearing haute couture clothing and Louboutin heels. I believe female supremacy can be expressed with taste and elegance, be it in the way I dress or the way I talk. I am a true Manipulatrix in the sense that I don’t force my clients to submit like in traditional domination, I make them want to, by making it their idea. When I’ve trademarked the term to make it my brand, it wasn’t very common at all. If you searched for it on social media, there were a handful of occurrences at most. It was perfect to describe what I do. There are many online dominatrices who, not unlike me, have traded the whips for words. But while you would encounter many hypnodommes, femdom spoiled princesses or humiliatrices on the internet, there weren’t that many manipulatrices – or dommes who would describe themselves as such. Hypnosis is only a weapon amongst many others for me, and I don’t identify as a bratty princess who has demands nor as a lifestyle humiliatrix who’s turned on by the psychological pain she inflicts. On the contrary, I am essentially a seductress. I like dirty talking rather than verbal humiliation. Seduction is a huge part of what I do. And I’m an expert at NLP, which is also known as the science of manipulation. Hence The Manipulatrix™…
Q: You coined the term Psydom. How would you explain this to someone who had never heard the term before?
A: Psydom is the contraction of Psychological Domination. While a traditional dominatrix uses corporal punishment or ropes and chains to restrain or recondition someone physically, a psydomme uses psychological weapons such as verbal humiliation, hypnosis, NLP or non-verbal communication to change a behavior, restrain or hurt someone psychologically. Many forms of dominations fall under the umbrella of Psydom. Hypnodommes, humiliatrices, even findommes can be considered psydommes. A lot of practices such as consensual blackmail, cuckolding, or feminization encompass an important psychological dimension. I coined the term Psydom because I felt it was lacking. Psydom isn’t rare at all, it’s actually very common. Online domination has really exploded these past few years, and the definition of the word Dominatrix is, more than ever, bound to evolve. But the word still evokes the professional sadist who practices the art of inflicting physical pain to men in her dungeon. Psydom/psydomme felt more accurate.
Q: What was it like being the daughter of a psychologist and hypnotherapist? What role did that play in helping you be able to dominate men today in the ways they crave to be dominated?
A: It offered me an amazing insight into the human mind. From my youngest age, I was very good at reading people, and I was a good listener. I have always hated conflicts and loud, vocal arguments. I always was the quiet one in school. But that didn’t mean I was weak and powerless, on the contrary. Although I might not have realized at first, I was constantly using NLP to solve conflicts or get what I wanted, just like my parents would do naturally during any interaction. I was extremely good at getting people on my side. It was just natural. NLP really is my mother tongue. I also grew up surrounded by psychology, NLP and hypnosis books, it fascinated me. I have read every single one of them. I was still in my teens when I learned hypnosis. It was a game for me. I believe that thanks to all of this, I am able to connect on a much deeper emotional level with my clients, to have a very special bond with them.
Q: What are three of the biggest thrills/enjoyments you get out of being a domme?
A: The freedom, of course. Financial, professional, artistic freedom. It’s fantastic to be my own boss, to be able to express my creativity and my views on female supremacy / female domination while making tremendous amounts of money doing it. And the lifestyle that goes with a Dominatrix career is exhilarating. I travel the world, I have seen the most beautiful places, the most exciting cities… I have nice things, too!
Q: In general, have you found there to be an average “type” of man who seeks to submit to you or to women in general? (For example, there’s the notion that most men who seek out services from dominatrices such as yourself often occupy high positions of power in their professional lives.)
A: My clientele is very high profile indeed: they are either successful businessmen, CEOs, or politicians from all over the world, especially Shanghai, Singapore and Hong Kong, as well as Australia and New Zealand since I live between Paris and Hong Kong. The higher the position of a man in his career, the more he seems to seek release in submission. I’m a financial dominatrix, so men who come to me usually are quite wealthy, they look for the ultimate thrill of spending, which is hard for them to experience since they can afford everything. They come to me because they know that I can push them to their limits. Most of the time, they rebuild quickly afterwards anyway… To them, there’s nothing sexier than getting ruined by being (willingly) hypnotized, manipulated and blackmailed by a French femme fatale expert in her craft.
Q: What are some of the most common experiences men ask you to provide them with/fetishes men ask you to gratify? Where do you think the need for such experiences comes from/why do they have these particular fetishes?
A: Financial Domination is what I’m known for, so obviously the most common request is that I take total control of their finances. I’ve been doing it for over 8 years so I’m extremely well versed in it. It isn’t about taking all of it, you want your client to have just enough to cover his basic living expenses. It’s about being on the very edge, it’s the idea of flirting with financial ruin that is appealing, not actual bankruptcy. Just like with corporal punishment, you don’t want to send your client straight to the hospital. You want to hurt him as much as he can stand but without leaving any permanent damage. Hypnosis is also highly requested by my clients. Giving up control of one’s mind is an extremely appealing outlet to anyone who has high responsibilities in their professional lives.
Q: What advice would you have for men who want to submit to their wives, but are afraid to broach the subject?
A: If you are a man who wants to submit to his wife, I would highly suggest trying to make it less about you being in the role of the submissive and more about your wife being in the role of the dominant. Less about you, more about her. Open the door for her to envision herself as a dominant women, so she can come up with her own vision of your fantasy. Encourage her when she experiments: “You drive me crazy when you do … to me”, “You’re so sexy when you are …”. And you can even follow with a daring: “You have so much power over me… I would totally lose my mind if you were doing … to me”. You would be surprised at how much more creative your wife will get…
Q: What books would you recommend men read if they want to understand themselves and their submissive desires on a deeper level?
A: Any book from Carl Jung would be a good place to start. Although he was Freud’s protégé, unlike him, he believed in the eventuality of a feminine side in all men, and was convinced that the characteristics of a gender (such as supposedly male dominance in western culture) were socially acquired, rather than innate… I believe that there is probably more fluidity to submissive versus dominant personalities in our sexual lives, just like sexual orientation or gender identity aren’t all black or white.
Q: What are 3-5 things you like doing for fun when you’re not busy dominating and manipulating your clients?
A: I am always reading hypnosis or psychology books, whether I’m on a plane, on the beach, or by my swimming pool. The human psyche fascinates me. When I’m not reading, I’m writing. Prose, poetry… Songs. I love music. I was a singer in a rock band for a few years. I regularly write and produce records. I also love directing and producing fetish/erotica films. Working as a professional model for years taught me a lot about lighting, photography and post production. I’m a big fan of Andrew Blake’s work, and at one point in my life, one of my biggest fantasies was to be able to star in and direct such films one day. Now that I have both the knowledge and technique to produce my own films, I find it such an amazing outlet to my creativity… I am currently working on my next film. My first short film can be seen here.