Tag Archives: Kink


One of my personal favorite kinks to engage in, Homewrecking Fantasy, does suffer from a lot of bad press on social media. A lot of dominatrices will refuse to engage in it, arguing that such a fetish isn’t supportive of Female Supremacy, or that it is misogynistic in essence. Is this really an anti-feminist kink at all? How is it related to Financial Domination or Blackmail Fantasy? And finally, what are the psychological motivations behind it?

What’s Homewrecking Fantasy and how is it related to Financial Domination?

Homewrecking Fantasy is a kink where the psysub finds sexual arousal from being seduced and manipulated into ending or ruining his relationship with his partner, real or imagined, to whom he’s married or not. Often, it would be a girlfriend or a wife. In rare cases, it could be also be an ex partner…

For most Homewrecking Fantasy fans, it’s the idea of potentially losing everything, be it their current relationship, marriage, social status or prestige resulting from that union that they find extremely appealing. But in many cases, the financial risks associated with a very possible divorce, such as losing their house, a lot of financial assets or a very consequent sum of money are a also a huge, if not the main part of the fetish.

For others, Homewrecking Fantasy will revolve around the risk of being “outed” to their partner by their Psydomme, who will then play a fantasy Blackmailer, or, as I like to call it, an Erotic Extortionist, who will threaten them to expose the fictional affair to their partner if they don’t pay a certain sum of money.


The psychological motivations behind the fetish

Homewrecking Fantasy is a way for a psysub to experience the thrill of a forbidden affair and especially cheating on his partner, but without having to deal with the consequences of an actual affair and its whole lot of collateral damage. The D/s (Dominant/submissive) dynamics that come into play, is that there is also a desire to be coerced, manipulated into the fantasized affair by the Psydomme. The psysub fantasizes about being, in a way, controlled and enslaved emotionally by a Femme Fatale with ulterior motives. Here, the manipulation is consensual, and will comprise of many psychological techniques that many so-called PUAs (Pick Up Artists) use to seduce: body language seduction, covert hypnosis, as well as NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). NLP is often nicknamed “The Science of Manipulation”, which is the reason why I have trademarked the name The Manipulatrix™, being an NLP specialist myself.

Now, what is the psychological background of a submissive seeking such an intense emotional and erotic form of Psychological Domination? Most of the time, these submissives are very happily married, or have a very exciting dating life. What they seem to lack, however, is some kind of challenge in their current relationship(s) where they feel they have too much control. Often, they have a wife who have sacrificed everything for them (or would do so in the blink of an eye), or girlfriends that are hopelessly in love with them. Relinquishing emotional control to a true Manipulatrix is where they finally find release.

In other cases, it can be a way for the psysub to reclaim control over a failing, or failed relationship. Remember the saying “you don’t know what you had until it is gone”? That’s the (potentially masochistic) feeling the psysub can be looking for (consciously or not). If he ended a relationship, or is ending one, delving into Homewrecking Fantasy can challenge his feelings and help him get in touch with certain emotions he thought he would never be able to feel again. The fact that he is experiencing very intense feelings in the context of a Psydom session allows him to explore his emotions safely and if necessary, to stop whenever he reaches his emotional limits. Such Homewrecking Fantasy sessions can be psychologically and emotionally exhausting, but also extremely rewarding with the right communication.


Isn’t the fetish about humiliating or disrespecting someone’s wife?

While some submissives do seek humiliation based on their choice of wife (it’s always about themselves and their choices, rather than about anyone else, let alone a partner), true Homewrecking Fantasy actually revolves around the ruination of a relationship. The whole point of this kink, as we noted above, is the emotional surrender to a Manipulatrix using seduction as the main tool for the transfer of power.

And how do you seduce a man? Certainly not by insulting his wife or girlfriend, nor questioning his tastes in women… That’s a different kink entirely. Seduction is about creating an emotional bond using one’s attractiveness (some will say beauty), body language and intellect. It’s about creating a certain chemistry between the two protagonists. And the word “chemistry” isn’t just a figure of speech here… Did you know that when humans bond, their brain releases a substance called oxytocin, the “bonding hormone”, or “love drug”? No wonder that there is such a huge fetish around Love addiction

Homewrecking Fantasy is truly one of my favourite kinks to engage in, because of the high psychological skills required to be able to engage in it safely, of the beauty of the intense emotional bond that can result from such a power exchange, and because it is a fetish where pure seduction is combined with elements of Financial Domination.


Ready to fall into my trap? Send me your first love letter now by clicking here…



This text is the exclusive property of The Only Theodora™, © 2018.
Any reproduction and/or partial or complete use of content and services offered by The Only Theodora, by any means whatsoever, without the prior written authorization of The Only Theodora and affiliates, is strictly prohibited and constitutes an infringement under Articles L 335-2, Articles L 343-1 and following of the Code of Intellectual Property, national regulations and international conventions. Violation of these provisions subjects the offender and all persons responsible for criminal and civil penalties provided by law.


extortion: ɪkˈstɔːʃ(ə)n, ɛkˈstɔːʃ(ə)n/ noun
the practice of obtaining something, especially money, through force or threats

erotic: ɪˈrɒtɪk/ adjective
relating to or tending to arouse sexual desire or excitement

There is a kink that very few actually dare to engage in, for fear of going too far, despite its ever-popular status all over the internet. Often wrongly called blackmail (which, indeed, always involves extortion), Erotic Extortion, the art of obtaining money through force or threat from a consenting and tantalized victim, is possibly the most attractive and thrilling psycho-kink to engage in. But how far can this take you, and what does it entail? Read further and try not to be hooked…


The most natural psycho-kink

Erotic Extortion can be considered a sub genre of Financial Domination. So, let’s take a look at the dynamics of power exchange in Financial Domination first. In contemporary western society, money equals power, and said power isn’t traditionally given to women and men in equal measure. On the contrary, with gender pay gap being the norm, and sexist laws still being applicable in numerous not-so-remote parts of the world, women are overpowered by default. Not to mention that on top of this, men currently hold 99% of world wealth… Therefore, wealth isn’t only a status symbol of power: rather, it is the power, and money, its instrument.

Relinquishing power to a dominant female is a common way for powerful men with high responsibilities to find release. It is, understandably, a way for them to balance their lives as daytime leaders with stressful careers where they have to be in control all the time. And since actual power lies in money, it makes Financial Domination the most tangible form of domination to them. Better yet, and in a reciprocal manner, it also is to many female dominants. The fact that western women hold only 1% of the world wealth and have limited access to high profile careers with responsibilities highly reinforces this polarization. Financial Domination gives women the power back not only on an individual or intrapersonal level, but on a societal level.

Which is probably why a vast majority of dominant women in western society is turned on by the idea of getting paid, and rarely the opposite, while men, in turn, often find paying for their kink an additional turn-on. If you have ever been to a strip club, you have probably witnessed a very popular form of erotic extortion before your very eyes. An exotic dancer is in action, doing a lap dance, stripping and teasing all she can, then “threatens” her customer to stop her dance, in the most seductive way, unless more money is paid immediately… Is there a sexiest way to illustrate the eroticism in consensual extortion?


From Erotic Extortion to Blackmail

While Erotic Extortion revolves around demanding money, with added threats of various nature, Blackmail is an erotic extortion which threat is specifically to expose the consenting victim. Depending on what other kinks and fetishes said consenting victim is known to have, the threat can be to expose these to a third person or to a group of people, be it a wife, a boss, some colleagues or whoever has an important role enough for the exposure to present a real threat. We have this saying in French, that the apple tastes better when the worm is in the fruit (although, if I may add, the worm is always best avoided…). So, how far can this seemingly dangerous game go?

Here’s the thing with Blackmail fantasy : it is just that. A fantasy. By actually exposing your blackmail submissive, you are involving someone external to this BDSM practice without their consent, thus crossing the line between fantasy and reality. Moreover, the law is the law, and whatever contract you may write or sign (this is especially true for Blackmail fantasy), publicly exposing someone is called defamation and is a criminal offense punishable by law, consent or not. So what’s a domme to do? Now that we made it clear that blackmail really is only a fantasy, where is all the thrill in Blackmail fantasy?

Every power exchange in BDSM is first and foremost of a consensual nature. I consider my way of engaging in domination Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC), as opposed to Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) – I reserve the latter for my long-term subs that I know extremely well, under exceptional circumstances. I feel that it is my duty to provide a safe space for my subs to experiment with their kinks and explore their fantasies, without being judged or, most importantly, put in danger. Most new or inexperienced subs will beg for RACK, especially on the heat of the moment, although they eventually won’t be able to handle it. The whole point of this kink is to be able to provide the thrill of RACK without actually going there… That is where the knowledge of psychology, body language and NLP technique comes in handy. A skilled Psydomme will know how to push her sub’s buttons and flirt with the limits without ever even needing to cross them, for she will be able to recognize consensual non-consent and know exactly how far she can go…


Now, will you be able to handle the heat? Apply for the ultimate Erotic Extortion experience with me here



This text is the exclusive property of The Only Theodora, © 2017.
Any reproduction and/or partial or complete use of content and services offered by The Only Theodora, by any means whatsoever, without the prior written authorization of The Only Theodora and affiliates, is strictly prohibited and constitutes an infringement under Articles L 335-2, Articles L 343-1 and following of the Code of Intellectual Property, national regulations and international conventions. Violation of these provisions subjects the offender and all persons responsible for criminal and civil penalties provided by law.