Cuckolding, or more classically, cuckoldry, is an ever-popular sexual humiliation kink where the cuckold (or “cuck”) finds pleasure in being sexually cheated on a by a woman whom he romantically pursues or is in a relationship with – usually a wife, a girlfriend or, in our case, a mistress…. How does one form such a fetish, and what are the dynamics of the Cuckoldress/cuckold (C/c) relationship?
From candaulism…
Candaules, a king from ancient Greece kingdom of Lydia (located in nowadays Turkey), gave his name to the voyeur fetish of watching one’s female partner having sex with other men. Candaules wanted to show-off his wife Queen Nyssia’s naked body to his favorite bodyguard, Gygès, so he had him watch her get undressed from behind the door of the royal bedroom. Although there was no actual sex taking place according to the legend, Queen Nyssia ordered Gygès to either kill the king, or kill himself considering the gravity of the betrayal. The King ended up dead…
A few centuries later, candaulism becomes the name of the voyeur sexual practice of perving on one’s female partner having sex with other men. A popular thing among swingers, it is slowly but surely making its way to the vanilla (non-fetish) sex repertoire, along with other practices such as polyamory. It is to be noted that there is no obvious humiliation involved here yet, only pure voyeurism… Notable adepts of candaulism in the 20th century include Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio, as well as Salvador Dali, adept of this practice with his wife Gala, who allegedly initiated him to the kink.
…to cuckoldry
If candaulism is how Dali found arousal in watching Gala have sex with other men, the perversion didn’t stop there. Salvador Dali was said to be a virgin at the time he met Gala, his wife to be, who was 10 years his senior and notorious for her ever-growing list of lovers. She made him understand that he could never possibly satisfy her sexually, and since Dali was convinced of his inadequacy since his childhood during which he had compared the size of his genitalia to those of his fellow classmates, he accepted to become Gala’s cuckold. Later in their relationship, she went to the length of showering her numerous lovers with gifts and money using the income from Dali’s art…
To sum it up, the difference between candaulism and cuckoldry (cuckolding) is the humiliation factor. Cuckoldry is not a voyeuristic pleasure, but a masochistic one: the cuckold fetishist gets off on the humiliation of being “cuckolded”. One fetish always leading to many others, there are numerous other elements that can add to the humiliation. In the case of Dali, there were also notions of Small Penis Humiliation (SPH) and Financial Domination, but contemporary cuckolding can entail many other fetishes such as interracial humiliation – Big Black Cock humiliation (BBC) being one of the most popular – or chastity, or even gay encouragement. There are more cuckold types than grains of sand…
How did I form such a fetish?
Many of my subs have asked that question, so here is my very personal analysis on how one does become a cuckoldry fetishist.
If we followed Freudian psychoanalytic theories, it could be an Oedipus complex: the cuckold fetishist became such because he overheard or caught his mother having sex with a man (not necessarily his father) during the phallic stage of his psychosexual development, which occurs between the age of 3 to 6 years old, and during which his infantile libido is directed towards, you guessed it, his mother. Consequently, cuckolding has become a default mode for his sexuality.
Another more probable case, from what I have observed with my own clients, would be a coping mechanism: the cuckold fetishist is experiencing or has experienced infidelity in his relationship with a female significant other, or worse, a betrayal that lead to a painful breakup, and the only subterfuge that his subconscious has found to cope with the resulting trauma was to turn it into a sexual fetish, thus reclaiming control of the traumatic experience through sexual arousal.
Lastly, and this is probably one of the most common cases in my opinion, it could also be what I like to call an “escape fantasy”: the cuckold fetishist is in a happily monogamous relationship, would be considered an alpha male by the society he evolves in and could easily be a cheater himself as he has numerous attractive women gravitating towards him or even being at his beck and call, but as a result, ends up craving the exact opposite, namely, being made a cuckold by a dominant female. His sexual nemesis is the Cuckoldress…
The Cuckoldress/cuckold (C/c) dynamics
The most fascinating aspect of the C/c dynamics is finding the balance between seduction and rejection. This can mean a lot of Tease and Denial, not just in the context of a session, but in the context of a long-term C/c relationship. This kind of relationship can be extremely intense emotionally, which is why it is important to find a Cuckoldress that understands your weaknesses and side-fetishes as well as the multidimensionality of consent within the relationship.
Once trust is established… What’s more exciting than being the consenting victim to your Cuckoldress’ expert seduction, as she relentlessly sparks your desire only to turn the table on you so that you end up denied, humiliated or even used and abused? Cuckold subs are certainly some of my favorite to toy with…
So… Which cuckold are you? Apply here to become mine…
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